He Makes All Things New

My wedding day was the sweetest day.  It was full of more charm, more warmth, and more sobbing-my-thankfulness prayers than I had ever imagined.  It was cozy and full of love from the people whom I am closest to; it was small and intimate, but left the biggest imprint on my heart.  It was the day I had, in reality, never imagined, and often times didn't want to.  And I'm finding that perhaps it's because I didn't know the sweetness that comes on the other side of the wedding.

The evening of my wedding day, I kept looking at my husband Ben.  Husband... It was such a lovely word, the privilege of saying it left me breathless.  Husband.  The word had been locked and hidden behind my lips since I was a little girl.  I didn't even realize I had concealed it somewhere in the chambers of my heart, never knowing if it might reach my mouth.  When I was young, I never imagined how my wedding might be; I just wasn't that girl.  But most little girls know they want to be married someday because it is on her heart to be pursued and adored forever and ever.  Husband meant that to me, and I would say it as a whisper over and over again during the next few months with a smile that only the spirit knows.  With giddiness and ecstasy, I was suddenly "that girl" who blushed as my lips formed 'my husband' either out loud or in my head.  The newness, the deep meaning, the forever-ness still leaves me in silent wonder sometimes.  I hope this word can always bring me to my knees in gratitude.

The few who leave themselves pure for their future spouse are the blessed few.  To me, they are heroes and saints.  They don't even know what they are holding out for yet, but they are still holding tightly to the promise of intimacy and beauty beyond measure in a future life-mate!  They will never be tainted by past experiences, people-they-thought-were-forever, or the heartache of being ripped away from by someone they trusted with heart and body.

If you are pure, I urge you to wait.  Love is everything wonderful that you believe it is, but true love does wait.  And girls/women, if it is true love with the man you're with now, he. will. wait.  He will honor you.  And if he does not, it's time to question if he actually is your one true love.  We all know this in the depths of our hearts, but we compromise so we don't lose a man's attention.  It doesn't have to be this way.  Really.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." ~Proverbs 4:23
"Do you not know your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore, honor God with your bodies."  ~1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Most of us don't have the luxuries that purity provides.  If you're like me, you may have even justified the sacrifice of purity because of the word "love" and the way it tangles your heartstrings, or because of a promise given.  The trade-off seemed fair and good, and you felt wonderful and attractive because someone seemingly valued your flesh and they liked to hang out with you.  Other women have endured many damaging things as children, through abuse, neglect, rape, and other horrific things I can't even begin to fathom.  And so, most of us end up here.  It's a place where we constantly reevaluate what relationships mean to us, each time setting boundaries for the next guy we might date, boundaries we're not even sure we'll keep if challenged.  We just want to be pursued and treasured.  It's on all of our hearts.

Here's the thing, though: the world around you won't tell you this overtly, but relationships don't have to determine your value and self-worth.  Being part of something doesn't make you any more whole than you are by yourself.  You are a significant soul in this universe from the moment you're conceived.  God looked at you and called you lovely, valuable, beautiful, even before you were looked upon by your earthly parents.  This is regardless of "relationship status."  In fact, while you wait for the one God prepared for you, you can increase your effectiveness for the Kingdom without distraction (yes, sometimes husbands are a distraction! hehe).  You are free to develop that woman God is calling you to be!  This way, when a man comes along, you are who God wants you to be, and that man can choose your gorgeous soul or not.  If he doesn't, he isn't the one!  What freedom!  We must be self-assured, through God, of our own worth before we can pursue a life mate.  If we look to a boyfriend or a husband to fill our voids, we will only end up disappointed (and it's not the guy's fault, especially if we put this on him!).

I speak from experience.  Those of you who don't know me that well may find it interesting that I got pregnant during high school (didn't find out until after graduation), and was a single mommy for six years.  I have been a Christian since I was five, and had the voice of the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart the whole time, but at 17 I decided I knew more about love than the Bible does, and wrote my own addendum to all of the verses that tell us to wait for marriage.  As a result, I will now forever proclaim that God's Word isn't trying to kill our fun or freedom when it tells us to wait; He is trying to protect us from certain trials and heartache that He didn't design for us.  I learned God's Love in a very difficult and real way while caring for my little boy at a point in my life where many girls are only beginning to build dreams of motherhood....someday.

A sweet moment with my son before the wedding

I want to say that my son's dad and I are true friends today.  God taught me a lot about forgiveness and humility; neither of us did anything perfectly.  He now has a wife whom I adore and appreciate, and they have a little boy that is a sweet little brother for my son.  Likewise, I have a husband and family that is infinitely more glorious than anything I could have conjured up in my happiest of musings.  But the road to get to this point is filled with more anguish than I can again relive.  The sadness of believing I had forever ruined my son's concept of "family", the realities of single-parenthood while working and going to college, the guilt that hung heavily on my spirit each day...these things I wish upon NO ONE.  I am blessed to have trusted in God through and through, to have sought His strength and wisdom, to know that when I am weak, He is strong.  There are many women out there who are trying to do it all on their own.  I wish that I could help them all.  I would turn their tear-streaked faces to the sky and urge them to pray.  God has always had a better plan than this; now we need to turn to Him and ask Him to redeem our situation.  Thanks be to Him that my son has a huge, loving family and that his mommy and daddy don't scream and yell at each other, making him choose sides.  Because of God's grace, my situation turned from sadness to joy, heartache to fulfillment, shame to exuberance.  He makes all things new.....even you (and me).

Why do I tell you these things?  I want you to know that if you don't already have a husband and a family, you have a way to make things pretty perfect.  Remain steadfast and pure.  Get to know yourself; ask God what He plans for your life based on your passions and interests.  Allow yourself content nights at home, joyous times with friends, a good book and coffee ... these things are good for your spirit, sweet woman.

When you're in a relationship, don't compromise the most treasured parts of yourself (physically, emotionally, spiritually, ANYTHING).  Stay true to you.  Let the man who pursues you get to know you, the REAL you.  If he walks away, so be it.  You still have you.  And you always have God.

Married women, let this be said of us: that we pray continually for God's guidance as our husband's bride, that we selflessly serve our families with happy hearts, that we sing as the sun rises and sets, and that we teach our sons and daughters the value of who they are.

No matter which walk of life we are in or which age bracket we belong to, it's never the wrong time to ask God to make us new again if we need it.  Married or single, we belong in His presence.

Here's a song that has touched my life, both as a single girl and a blissfully married woman:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL1G77iOVpU

Laughter from the Lord

Remove the Shackles; Exercise in Freedom

Ever since I was a teenager, I would imagine that heaven would somehow include this scene:

I am running, my heart is beating quickly, yet steadily.  There is nothing behind me but beauty, nothing ahead but the magic of a sunset, the glory of the sky, the swaying of the trees.  There are my footsteps, as light as dragonfly wings, as free as grace.  I feel no pain in body or in breath; just a steady, certain gaze and joy abounding deep in my soul.  I can run as far and as long as I want to without growing weary.  I do not need rest.  I am boundless.  I am liberated.  I am graceful.  I am doing this for no other reason except that it is an act of worship to the one true God, that Maker of this moment and all of the moments before, and all of the moments yet to come.  Honest, passionate, heavenly, chainless running - just me and God and the breeze and His majesty.

Wouldn't running and exercise be so beautiful if it was that pure and purposeful?  Let's be honest: exercise is often one more thing on our to-do list (and our to-do brain), demoralizing us if it doesn't get done.  It's something that stresses us out until we get to the gym, hit the road, hop on the trails, etc.  Once it's over, we often feel better.  But sometimes we don't truly feel better. Sometimes we did it because we had to burn a certain number of calories, we had to make sure our shell(body) is looking good/doesn't get fat/loses some flab/gets that six-pack.   And in a culture of "I-want-it-right-NOW," the results of exercise take a bit too long, and we feel worse instead of better because we're looking for an external result for our external efforts.

Before I begin talking too much about this, I want to be honest and clear about something... If we allow our bodies to get severely overweight, there is no freedom in this.  We are limited in our activities, we are hurting our organs, and we are putting our lives at risk.  Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit.  Let's give the Spirit a dwelling place in which it can work!  Similarly, if we are starving ourselves, become obsessed with exercise more than anything else, counting calories like it's a full-time job, craving (pun intended) to see bones protruding, lusting after six-pack abs, then we are just as sick as the overweight person.  Starvation, especially combined with overexercise, also puts our organs and lives at risk.  The Spirit cannot work effectively in this environment, either.  YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE FOR THE LIVING SPIRIT OF GOD.  Our most important work is eternal work.  It's important that you know this before reading on.  Also, I'm talking to myself as much as I'm talking to all of you.  :o)

So, what if exercise was less an external effort, and more of a way to help energize us for our eternal effort?  What if it was even a little less about us, and more about God and other people?  In a culture obsessed with image, with ever-increasing pressures on women to be skinny and men to be "buff," the idea of exercise being about someone else might seem a bit asinine.  How does this work?

I used to use exercise to rid myself of the guilt that eating brought to me.  I would count calories meticulously, be sure to run miles upon miles per day, and still feel guilty after eating a small dinner.  My response to that guilt would be to run the next morning before work and class.  I would add an abdominal workout and push-ups at night.  I would pine and pine and pine after a perfect body.  I was less than a "perfect body," as if there is such a thing.  My son's dad Aubrey once came to pick up our son, and he looked at me and said, "I'm just waiting for the day that I come to pick Julien up, and I find you dead."  That moment was a bit of a wake-up call to me.  It changed my perspective just for a second, but those were words I revisited many times in the next couple of years as I slowly clawed my way toward freedom.  Would I die of a heart attack while I was out running, my son forever losing his mommy?  I worried.  I knew I wasn't free; I was exercising in bondage, chains clanking with each forced step.

Exercise is healthy, and God designed our bodies to respond very well to physical activity; we weren't created for completely sedentary lives.  I had lots of fun researching the way that exercise affects brain activity, and I became enthralled with the science behind God's design.  For example, study after study shows that exercise is a natural anti-depressant, relieving stress and anxiety because of the chemicals released in the brain.  Exercise enhances mood, releases endorphins (runner's high, anyone?!), and  actually generates new neurons.   If you are currently an exerciser, you know what I'm talking about!  

In order that these paragraphs don't get long and I lose you, I will simply list the positive effects of exercise on your brain.  We all know the benefits of what exercise does for your body, including your cardiovascular system.  Here is what exercise does the following for you and your brain:

1. Increases the size of hippocampus and improves memory
2. Increases cognitive function in children, adolescents, and young adults
3. Increases the levels of brain derived neurotrophic factors (has to do with serotonin and dopamine - linked with good mood and well-being) and improves neuroplasticity
4. Makes the brain more resilient to stress
5. Enhances your mood (often within five minutes!!!)
6. Normalizes your sleep
7. Increases the production of serotonin, the neurotransmitter that anti-depressents try to regulate
8. Alleviates depressive symptoms in those diagnosed with depression (obviously...)
9. May even prevent depression and anxiety !

The list could go on for much, much longer.  I don't need more than nine reasons, though.  Do you?  Exercise is created by God, we've been doing some form of it since creation, and we are meant to do it.  I understand that there are some of us who cannot because of physical conditions.  That is understandable, and there are other ways that we can get these benefits, often through means of personal expression...and, of course (most importantly), by connecting with God.  But for those of us that can, we should.

However!  and this is a big however, we cannot, cannot, CANNOT start worshiping self through exercise.  And this, my beautiful friends, is a tricky thing to do - a thing that I struggle with daily, a thing I have to keep in check with myself.  "Am I doing this to worship myself, or am I doing this to keep myself healthy enough to help others and give God glory?"  The latter is good, and is the light side to exercise.

As a woman who was a single mom for six years, I needed a way to keep my sanity.  I needed "me" time, a time which to reflect on not only myself, but on what I needed to get done and how I would accomplish those tasks.  Before Julien was born, I had already started a running routine.  When he was born, I felt tremendous guilt for wanting to run instead of spend time with him.  Eating disorders aside, there were many reasons for the "need" to get out and run.  However, no one ever told me, "Cherie, it's okay to take time for yourself.  It's healthy and it's good."  I had to figure this out on my own.  I noticed that on days I skipped my workouts, I was grumpier, more overwhelmed, and definitely more scattered in my accomplishments.  I felt feelings of resentment for all of the things I had to do "on my own," and went to bed with deep feelings of inadequacy.  I needed the time to run, yet it seemed CRAZY to even think that I "deserved" that precious time.  What kind of a mother wants to make time for herself, instead of her child?  These were my qualms, and yet EVERY mother knows that WE NEED TIME AWAY!!!  This is not because we are neglectful; it is because sanity is important in order for us to keep on nurturing!

Raise your hand if you're a mom or dad and ever needed a moment away.  Yep, that's what I thought.  Lots of us!  (If you're not yet a parent, take notes.)  Those lovely little bundles of joy are worth all of our tears, heartache, smiles, struggles, hugs, diaper changes, EFFORT ... but let's be real - you are the best you when you take a moment to remember that you are a human being just as much as you are a mom or a dad.  And since we already read about all of those God-given benefits to exercise, let's not pretend that taking a run or bike ride or weight-lifting session isn't the perfect escape.  Your body and mind will be healthier; if you pray while you're working out, your spirit will also be fed, AND you'll actually have MORE energy to give to those sweet little darlings (the tone of "darlings" is sarcastic or not, depending on the day).

If you aren't a parent, or your kids have left the house already, we still need to exercise.  But again, it's not out of self-worship, but out of well-being to better serve those around us.  If you exercise for no other reason, the BEST reason to exercise is to worship -- the second best reason is so that we can serve others with joyful, refreshed bodies, minds, and souls.  By helping yourself, you're helping others so much more.  And hey -- why not witness to people and be a LIGHT to others while you're at the gym/on the trail/etc.???  Try telling someone else how great they're doing, encourage them to keep it up, tell that God rocks, whatever you're comfortable with.

I have a friend who always says, "Looking good, Sunshine!" or "Great job!  Keep it up, Sunshine!" whenever we pass people while we run - no matter if she knows them or not.  I have always admired that attribute to motivate and inspire others, and have taken it upon myself to bring that attitude into my workouts no matter where I am (thanks, Danni! ;) ).

But we must also talk about the dark side of exercise.  There is a dark side.  We need to avoid it.

If you exercise because you're afraid you'll look disgusting if you don't, you are bound by exercise.  If you exercise because you have a set number of calories that must be burned or else, you are bound by exercise.  If you exercise because you hate what you see in the mirror, you're bound by exercise.  If you exercise because someone made a comment to you about your appearance, and that comment just won't get out of your heard, you're bound by exercise.

If you lift weights because you feel like an inadequate representation of a man, you're bound by exercise.  If you lift weights because having not having "bulk" isn't an option, you're bound by exercise.  If you lift in order to appeal to women, then you're bound by exercise (Dude, she's gonna love you with or without muscles if she cares at all about you!).

If you run because you ate, you're bound by exercise. If you run because you hate yourself,  you're bound by exercise.  If you run because you feel forced to, not freed by it, you're bound by exercise.

**HOWEVER, if you exercise because your health would suffer and you need to lose weight to stay alive, or to live a better life, please don't take any of the above into consideration over your health.  You can't help others if you're not here ... so if a doctor told you to, or if you just know you need to exercise to keep your heart ticking, then do it.**

I may have offended people by saying some of the things I just said.  But I once chained myself to exercise instead of letting God free me through it.  I don't want anyone having to reevaluate their psyches over and over again to come to the healthy conclusion.  I am saying it out of love and out of experience.  I'm saying it to free us.

Yesterday I ran with my husband.  Even he will tell you I wasn't in the best of moods while running, which is rare.  I was beating myself up during our run, and felt no better afterwards.  I realized the intention of that run was to remove the label of "lazy" from myself (we had had a wonderfully lazy morning together).  It wasn't a pure reason.  Later, I decided to run by myself, to be outside and enjoy God's beauty, to see what I could defeat in my head that made me feel inadequate.

It worked.  I prayed, I ran, I looked at the water, at the sky, and my soul just sang.  After the run, I sat on a bench and prayed to God - Lord, let my words be Your words.  What do I say to people about exercise?  What do I say?

These words flowed into my head, maybe they will mean something to you:
Grace Abounding, Peace Overflowing, Undying Love, Breeze that speaks....(long pause while I waited in silence).........Sovereignty.

I pray that each of you would find exercise to be an act of worship that makes you more energetic and effective to serve other people.  At the end of the day, it's not about what we do for ourselves - that doesn't last.  What do we do for others, to show them love, to give them hope?  How do we worship? These things matter.

Below: pictures from my run yesterday evening.

The Great Artist features His Autumn Sky in Winona.

Beginning of my run

                                    

Middle of my run

From where I prayed

God bless all of you!

You Are Worth More Than Your Body

The day was a sweltering one.  90+ degrees, and little shade would be provided along the course for our runners.  The day stood still as activity bustled within it.  After an almost two-hour bus ride with our 7th-12th grade cross country team, we had arrived at the course and stood in speculation.  What would this race bring to the kids, physically, mentally, and emotionally (perhaps, hopefully, spiritually as well)?

Lots of things to do in little time.  Get your timing chip.  Pin your number on your uniform.  Go use the bathroom.  Hurry!  C-team, let's warm up!  I had a nervous-giggle kind of jog with our C-team girls, all of them asking me various questions about the course, about what time they should finish, and how they should pace themselves.  They were newer to this sport, and anxiety mounted as gun time drew near.  I was distracted by my full bladder and the silly decision to wear a cotton t-shirt that day, so I had few answers for their many questions.  As a (volunteer) coach, I wanted them to believe in themselves and find success, and so I told them so.  As a Christian woman, I wanted them to understand how God had made them wonderful and beautiful, no matter how they finished.

Lots of running and a few races later, I finally got a break to use the restroom and go back to our Winona tent area to check in on the other runners.  As I was high-fiving runners and finding more water, I came behind a group of Winona girls and overheard this statement, "...even though I run just as much as everybody else, I'm still the fattest girl on the team."  {Note: this isn't true.  It really isn't.}  She looked down at her legs and stomach with disgust, and those around her tried to reassure her that it wasn't true.  My heart sank, and then started beating very quickly.

"Hey, hey, hey," I said, "There is nothing fat about you.  You are beautiful.  You are athletic, and have endurance.  I don't ever want you to say something like that again, even to yourself.  You are BEAUTIFUL.  Ok????"

She turned around and looked at me like I was crazy.  "Sure," she said, and the girls' conversation continued.

I was so disturbed by hearing that, thinking about that young lady and how she was beating herself up. She was already considering herself not good enough.  She was basically saying, "Well, I do this thing (running), and yet this other thing just won't happen for me (too-thinness), and it doesn't make sense and I don't like my body for that!"  A high school girl's distorted reality.  Many girls'/women's distorted reality.  The starting point for a life of thinking if the body is desirable, then the soul will be, too.
I wish I could say that is the only comment I've heard her and other girls on the team make.  In fact, it isn't.  I've had girls say they wear certain shirts so no one can see their fat bouncing on their stomachs.  I've seen a girl refuse to eat certain foods because of "empty calories," though that item didn't have empty calories at all.

And so I have a message to other girls and women.  It is inspired by a sermon from my church, First Free in Onalaska, WI.  I will include the link at the end for watching it.  The sermon was actually about sexual immorality, but I had prayed this morning for inspiration to write, and when Pastor Shane said, "You are worth more than your body!" I knew what God wanted to speak through me today.  Let these be His words, and not mine.  I pray for each of you who read this; please try to understand what God thinks of you.  More importantly, that what He thinks of you is worth far more than what culture thinks of you.

First of all, I want us to think about Adam in the Garden of Eden.  Whatever you know about the story, you probably know that Adam was first.  He was alone.  He was only man.  Then God sent Eve along, made from one of Adam's ribs.  I see colors of blue and green, translucent, flowing through her.  Eve was to be his helpmate.  Think about this: What was God imagining when He made the first woman?  What attributes did He want women to have forever and ever?  He gave us the gift of emotion, the privilege of compassionate instinct.  I imagine God pouring over the details of us because ALL of humanity would come to depend on our mothers for 1) physical support, and 2) tender care while in the womb and thereafter.  He must have said, "Let woman be warm in heart, care-giving in spirit, gentle with her touch, full of unconditional love.  In this way, she will bear My image.  Through her, My goodness will be reflected."  And He breathed her first breath in her.  And she was Eve.  And she is me.  And she is you.  You see, it's about WHO YOU ARE -- what's in that eternal soul?  How has God made you?  Do not forsake this, and you will never thirst for more than what you are given, even in body.

But we know it's not that easy!  We are tormented by images day in and day out that tell us we are not worthy of lust or love if we do not conform to an image that is almost unattainable.  God's intent for beauty through a woman's heart has been tarnished and destroyed by our culture!  Our self-worth all of a sudden becomes wrapped up in how attractive we are perceived to be, how many men want to date us and/or have sex with us, how sleek we can get our hair, our name-brand clothes, the length of our eyelashes, our manicured nails, our smooth skin, our smell, our perfectly shaped boobs and butt, our willingness to put out, and the list could go on forever, in the wrong direction.  And in trying to attain all of that, we are killing our souls.  We are selling out.  We are assimilating to our culture that is very, very wrong about the role of a woman in the world.

Pastor Shane shared this statistic: From TV alone, our kids get 14,000 sexual images, references, or innuendos PER YEAR.  This is just TV; it doesn't include music, youtube, movies, computer, or anything else.  All of those images are basically telling our kids it's ok and perfectly normal to have sex outside of marriage.  What does that mean for girls?  The more they see images of women as sexually desirable, the more they buy into the lie that being desirable on the outside has something to do with their worth as a woman.  She will have sex to feel worthy.  She will have sex to feel beautiful.  And the boys she's hanging out with - they have been fed these same media messages.  He is a man if he conquers a woman's flesh.  He is valuable if he is tough, if he is on the sexual prowl (and succeeding), and he is a "man" once he loses his virginity.  So, we all become victims of this culture.  We all lose our self-worth in trying to attain it.  You are worth more than your body.

How attractive men find you has NOTHING to do with how much you are worth.  Think of a woman who has touched your life in a meaningful, valuable, soul-filling way.  What made her beautiful?  What qualities about that woman stand out to you?  Hopefully you aren't imagining a woman who taught you all you need to know about make-up, push-up bras, and sexual positions.  If so, reevaluate and try again!  ;)  I bet the woman you are imagining was some version of kind, gentle in spirit, loving of you and others, wise, helpful, or anything else similar.  She probably seemed to have a seemingly effortless comfort with who she is, and the ability to make you believe something wonderful about yourself, too.  What men thought of her physically probably had no bearing on others' view of her, even if people did view her as physically attractive.  Her unique, kind, woman-ness defined her beauty, didn't it?  The same is for you.  The way your soul shines, and the way God reveals Himself to others through you, is the effective piece of who you are.

As a mother, I look at my son and I see a handsome boy, full of intelligence and whatever future he wants because of his qualities.  I see all of the good, even when I'm reprimanding bad behavior.  I love him with all of the immensity of the universe, and that will never change.  How much more does God love us?

Women, because He made and designed us, He knows the roots as well as he knows the leaves on the branches.  He knows every fiber of the trunk, and every parasite that has tried to destroy us.  He knows our soil - He is our soil, and He is our rainwater, too.  With this kind of intimacy does He know our potential and our attractive qualities.  With all of His perspectives, He sees us on the outside and on the inside.  And both of those things are good enough, and both will bloom with beauty for eternity once we accept His grace.  He will show us our worth, and it will be good enough for us, too once we understand what He's showing us.

I urge you not to look to the culture to fill you.  I try with all my might not to look at ads in magazines or in stores.  I don't even look at mannequins.  They're all lying to me.  Companies are trying to make me feel like I'm not good enough so that they can have my money.  They are DECEIVING us.  Culture (and satan and his demons - a spirit-related blog for a different day) is tempting me to be a victim of eating disorders again, and it's tempting you in some way that will make you believe you're worthless.  Right now, tell yourself, "I am worth more than my body."  Seriously.  Out loud.  RIGHT. NOW.  That means you are worth more than the number on a scale, you are worth more than the length and thickness of your eyelashes, you are worth more than gawking eyeballs from men, you are worth more than sex, you are worth more than an expensive date, you are worth more than compliments, you are worth more than clothes, you are worth more than a shapely figure, you are worth more than counting calories, you are worth more than looking good in pictures, you are worth more than jewelry, you are worth more than a nice house, you are worth more than abuse, you are worth more than any man's lust, and you are even worth more than all of your talents.

Again I remind you of Proverbs 31:30: "Charm is deceptive and beauty if fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."  All of the things that culture tells us is important will fade; those things are temporary.  But your soul is not.

I want to end what I'm saying here for today because I really want you to watch some of the sermon (link below).  If you only have a little bit of time, then skip forward to minute 39 through 44 (or further) to hear more of God's heart for women's worth.  It actually refers to sex, and how men pursue us sexually, but it's relevant.  You won't regret it.  You will find something in there for you, I promise.  God adores you and knows how much you are worth.

You are worth so much, and it has nothing to do with your body.  Isn't that relieving?  Isn't it liberating?  You are gorgeous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LENsCQd7AE

That's Totally Weak

Friends, family, and strangers, I must be honest with you.  The past two weeks have been a struggle.  I have been fighting my battle daily with self-esteem, attacks on body image, overall self-loathing, and fear.  And I realized I must face something: I have always had low self-image, it has always been easy for me to hate myself, and I've had irrational fears since my little blonde head was only knee-high.  So, of course, with this blog, I thought: how can I talk to these people and encourage them in their battles when I am faltering in my own?  But "to give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift," right? (Prefontaine quote because I am a running nerd!)  So here I am, still licking my wounds, typing away so that the gift of forthcoming freedom is ours to be had.

Weakness actually works in our favor.  Weakness takes us off of our pedestals.  Weakness creates empathy.  Weakness makes us stop and realize there are some things we can't do alone.  If you haven't realized that yet, perhaps it's time ...
If you've read any of my posts, you know the Reason for the hope I have in all things.  There are just some things you can't fake and you can't take away.  For example, I am a mother; you can't fake certain things when you are a mother.  You can't fake your love because a storehouse from heaven, full of love, fell upon you the second you learned that you were harboring an eternal soul.  You give out this love freely, without thinking, without second-guessing.  You tell others of this love, both directly and indirectly, every day.  The same happens when you have experienced God's grace, deliverance, and love.  I can't help but talk about it... :)

Let's look at the darkness for a minute, to see how the light chases it away (metaphorically, unless you want to turn your lights on and off - that's cool, too).

When I lived by myself in an apartment by Gundersen-Lutheran in La Crosse, I was very lonely.  I had my son Julien with me, and I enjoyed every second I had with him, but I lacked any healthy adult relationship.  I had such a set routine it was ridiculous: run in the morning, take Julien to daycare, go to class, go to work, go back to class, go back to work, get Julien home, get him to bed, do a 2nd workout, eat the tiniest bit possible, go to bed, repeat.  Sometimes when Julien visited his dad, the loneliness was so overwhelming that I found myself crying in his room.  When I left his room, I would fidget for awhile - people who close themselves in don't know how to appropriately contact others to hang out.  I felt like I'd be a burden.  Because of this, sometimes I would eat a lot of food that I would NEVER let myself eat normally, and then panic out of guilt, and make myself throw up.  (Don't read on if you have a woozy stomach.)  I would watch the toilet fill up with everything I just ate; I knew every bit of content and in what order I ate it.  I would puzzle at how my stomach had mixed it up so quickly.  Gag, gag, gag, splash.  I would feel a certain satisfaction when I felt my stomach emptying, my esophagus burning, my hand full of chunks of food, my body crying for water.  Again, again, again, until nothing was coming up but saliva, and abdominal muscles burned from the effort.

I was mutilating myself for having a weak moment and eating too much food.  I was mutilating myself for never being good enough at what I did.  I was mutilating myself out of self-created loneliness.  I was trying to find some satisfaction in taking control because I was WEAK.  I didn't want to be WEAK, I wanted to be STRONG.

Almost every single time I made myself throw up, from the time I was 14 to the time I was 23, I would look myself in the mirror when I was done.  I would get really, really close to the mirror and look at my own eyes.  I would stare and say to that stranger-girl: "This is not who you are.  You are better than this.   This isn't you.  You don't have to do this again."  And then I'd cry because I was ashamed.  No matter what I did, I was ashamed.

The year I lived at that aforementioned apartment in 2007-8, I had a recurring vision of myself.  At this point, I was so weak in my battle against eating disorders.  I wanted deliverance.  I wanted freedom.  I wanted to eat dinner with my son without counting calories and comparing if he or I ate more.  I wanted to not care what my body looked like.  And I kept getting this vision of myself in holy anger and terror, throwing a scale out of my bedroom window and watching it smash into smithereens. Then I would take a sledgehammer and smash my full-length mirror over and over and over.  At the end of these efforts, I would fall to my knees and cry out to God with tears pouring down my face.  That ended the vision.

Just a few months ago, I was at Bible study.  My friend Dannielle had something for us all to do.  She had been taught an activity before, and she was going to lead it.  We each had to close our eyes and let the Holy Spirit just talk to us as she told us questions to ask Him.  I know this may sound pretty "out there" to those of you who aren't Christians, don't pray, etc., but trust me - it was beautiful.  OK - so she had us ask questions to the Lord.  One of the last questions was, "What is your favorite moment with me?"  So, in my head and heart, I asked the Holy Spirit, "What is your favorite moment with me?"  And that vision came back to me - the one where I was smashing scales and mirrors!  It fell upon me like a ton of bricks and I started bawling in front of this group as I retold the whole story.  Other people were reminded of times when they were kids, or a brief moment in the past that seemed happy, but I was given that painful, weak time!  I just kept asking, "Why is that Your favorite, God?"  But I knew the answer...it was then that I truly surrendered my whole life, recognizing that without Him, I wasn't strong enough to overcome eating disorders or any other area of weakness.

When we give up our weaknesses to God, we are provided with strength that far surpasses our own.  And sometimes that weakness stays because it is then that we turn our eyes to the One who is greatest.  I realized this before even reading the following verses, but I think it's so cool that the Bible affirms this:
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it [a spiritual tormenter] away from me.  But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."  -2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Perhaps this makes sense to you, perhaps it doesn't.  But we can't give up on the things that torment us. We can't put power in the wrong hands.  We can't do it all on our own.  Heck, I've seen so many people vent personal, private information in their facebook statuses!  We're all crying out for help in some way!

Whatever your weakness, whatever your struggle, whatever your battle, don't ever believe that it is too much for you to overcome.  Say a prayer, I dare you.  Know that there is overwhelming love and grace - I can feel it for you as I type, like a gift waiting to be unwrapped.

Distorted Reality

The first counseling session of my treatment involved a few pieces of yarn.  I looked at the counselor like she was a twit.  I hated her because I hated being there.  I hated my mother for forcing me to this stupid place to take stupid counseling because it was stupid, stupid, STUPID to take away from me what was mine, my control (sorry, Mom - I don't feel this way anymore, just reliving the moment).  I picked up the string and looked at the counselor.  
"Now, I want you to take the string and make it the size that you think your waist is ... put it in a circle on the ground and adjust it until you think you've made it your size." 
"Great," I thought, "she's making me think more about how big I look.  I don't want to see that!"
I put the string on the ground in a circle that I thought represented my waist.  
"Next," directed the counselor, "put down a piece of string that represents a desirable waist size."
I did as I was told.
"Ok, good!" she said, too cheerily.  "Now, actually put another piece of string around your waist and cut it when the ends meet.  This will be your true measure of your waist.  Put that on the ground next to your first two strings."
I was so completely, irrationally nervous about this.  What if I thought I was much, much smaller than I was?  I would have to face the fact that I was, in reality, bigger than I thought!  
I put the third string down on the ground, in an oval representing my true waist size.  To my astonishment, that third measurement was smaller!  In reality, I was MUCH smaller than I thought I was.  We're talking almost six inches!  What?!  And even more strange, I was also a couple of inches smaller than what I considered to be an ideal waist.  Something was wrong here ... was this a trick exercise?

My counselor told me that this is what eating disorders do to people - and not just eating disorders, but unhealthy thinking about the self - it takes away our ability to see ourselves for what we really look like.  You want to talk about scary... THAT is scary!  I could look at myself and essentially see a different physical person.  It's called distorted body image, or body-image distortion.

Body-image distortion is different than body dissatisfaction.  Body dissatisfaction is just that - someone who is dissatisfied or unhappy with their body's appearance.  Body-image distortion is when you see your body falsely; you don't see it for how it actually appears, either all parts of your body or particular parts of your body.  According to Janet Leichty, a professor of social work and medicine at University of Illinois, 50-80% of women have body dissatisfaction.  SAD!  Based on my experience and conversations with many people over quite a few years, I bet it's more toward that 80%.  Even more shocking to me is that more than half of those women who are dissatisfied with their bodies are experiencing body-image distortion.  What is happening?!  Why can't we see ourselves?!

Last night, a friend said to me, "Cherie, it's difficult to know where you're coming from because the things you've experienced are so far from reality.  It's hard to see why you've thought these things about yourself, and why you have to continually fight off these thoughts, because it's so far from the truth."

While I appreciate and love comments like that now, because they affirm my victory over eating disorders and help to keep me in check, I used to loathe those conversations.  I would think, "You just have no idea.  It's not important to you.  You could never know what it's like to hate yourself the way that I do, to be dissatisfied with yourself the way that I am, to want to change everything..."  

I used to look in the mirror and see a different person than who another person might see.  The girl I saw had a rounder face, a chubby stomach, bigger thighs, round-shaped shoulders and untoned arms.   The girl someone else saw had bony elbows, sunken eyes, sharp cheekbones, ribs sticking out, veins.   Sometimes, I still see lots of negative, untrue things when I look in the mirror.  But I'm learning to shake my head and walk away.  If I don't like what I see, I walk away and consider who I am and Who made me.  I go hug my husband or my son.  I pray.  I tell myself that I am a role model for a classroom full of 7th graders, and an avid encourager to a team full of young cross country runners.  I ignore the reality that is distorted and focus on the reality of TRUTH.

But I've learned that now ... it took me 11 years to learn that.  Some of you, or your daughters, or your friends, or your family members aren't there yet.  They still see something that is a lie, believe the lie, live in the lie, and carry out drastic actions to fight what the lie has told them (that is, they try to lose weight, or they yell at themselves in their heads, they feel sad, they cry themselves to sleep).  What do you do if this is you?  What do you do if your family member or friend is going through this?  I have many suggestions and some insight... I'll name a few today.

1) If you are a parent, or ever want to be a parent, listen up!  What we say about ourselves and about our children MATTERS. Duh. It's earth-shattering importance here.  Moms, if we put yourselves down, our daughters will learn to put themselves down. Pinch the fat on our stomachs, so will our daughters.  Dads, tell your wife she's gained weight, needs to work out, etc., your daughter will think she is ugly to you, too.  If you look at media images with desire, your daughter will think that she needs to look like that in order for a man to love her.  Likewise, our sons will learn to love whatever images of "beauty"we deem as worthy of attention. Moms, if the most important part of ourselves is how we look on the outside, our sons will learn to value women mostly for how they look.  Dads, if you're looking lustfully at images and/or women who are not your wife, your sons will look to physical satisfaction as total satisfaction to fulfill his desires.  
Let me give you a real-life example of how this works.  My maternal grandfather used to limit my grandmother's serving sizes at the dinner table.  He wasn't subtle about it - my mom and my aunt knew he was telling her how much she could eat because he cared about her "getting fat."  My mom and my aunt have both told me about times when my grandmother would come dancing down the staircase in a beautiful outfit, happy with how she looked, and my grandfather would tell her to go back upstairs and change because she looked "fat" in what she was wearing.  
And what do you think my beautiful mom and beautiful aunt thought about their own images?  They thought that "fat" was bad, and started scrutinizing their own bodies.  The messages my grandfather sent to my mom and aunt have lasted them their whole lives.  And my grandmother, aunt, and mom are all extremely gorgeous Norwegian women - women that men get googly-eyed for, and yet they have all  doubted their own beauty at one time or another, or more.  :(

MOMS AND DADS, WE NEED A WAKE-UP CALL!  Our responsibility to prevent our daughters (or sons!) from experiencing body dissatisfaction is two-fold: love yourself/spouse for WHO you/they are, and love your daughter for who she is.  Both loving is to be done outside of any regard for the body's image.
On ac-journal.org, I read this: 

Krcmar, Giles, and Helme (2008) noted that parental comments about children’s physical appearance convey body image norms that could lead to negative associations with body shape. It has been suggested that parental influence is a primary influence on body dissatisfaction.For example, Levine, Smolak, Moodey, Shuman, and Hessen (1994) observed that parents who place an importance on dieting and other weight control behaviors can have a negative impact on body satisfaction. If parental attitudes toward body shape and weight resonate with those of the media, they may also be linked to internalization of the thin ideal. [emphasis mine]

How do we want our daughters to think of themselves?  How do we want our sons to choose their future spouse?  Then we must examine what messages we're sending either implicitly or explicitly about what's beautiful.  And for God's sake, we should limit their media exposure!  Please...

2) Lies about ideal image and beauty are portrayed vastly in the media.  Did you know that only about 5% of women can actually achieve what media is portraying as the "ideal" body type?  5% !!!  But how much do we and our children view media images?   Ohhh, only about nearly every hour of our waking day.  If you combine all various media (computer, phone, tv, ads, etc.), it's found that the average child or teenager is getting 6-7 hours PER DAY of media exposure.  That's just gross in and of itself (we ought to turn off the TV/computer, if for no other reason than to be creative and active!).

And guess what?  Multiple studies have found that the biggest pressure exerted on them to be thin is from the media.  Soooo, more hours per day exposed to media, the more likely you or your kid is to be dissatisfied with what the Lord gave them.  And if you read my other blog posts, and those to come, you know just what kind of agony a person endures because of distorted body image, self-loathing, etc.

"..Exposure to unrealistic and often unhealthy body images can influence young people’s perceptions of their own body shape and size as well as their own sense of body satisfaction. The effect of the media may also extend to the development of specific, and possibly harmful, weight losing behaviors." (Pediatric Child Health 2003)

If we're honest with ourselves, we know that whatever consumes our thoughts controls our lives.  With so many media messages being sent to us and our children, how can we not see that whatever is in the media can at least partially control our lives?  As long as ads can communicate to us that there is "something" we are missing (mind you, that something is a thing they're trying to sell us!), we are slaves to a system in which we buy and/or attain our own satisfaction through things and through status.  

If we can limit our own and our children's access to media influences, we can limit our family's vulnerability to our culture's LIES about beauty and worth.  If you are alone in this, the first step to healing is cutting off lies from the enemy.  Fight the images and fight the voices.  Say a prayer, go for a walk, take a hike.  Seriously.  If you're a parent, turn off the TV, computer, phone, and talk to your child.  Just talk.  Just listen.  Just...be.  Let's promise ourselves that we and our sons and daughters will see attractive souls as more worthy than "attractive" bodies.  Lies should not win.

3. If you are struggling with this, pray about it and talk about it.  Pray and offer it up and let go of that life-threatening control.  If you seek someone to talk with, find someone who has been through this.  That is going to be the most difficult part about it - few people will understand on the same level.  They won't know why your mind and heart are obsessing over certain things; they won't understand that you can't see what they see; they may even lose patience.  That's why most people go to counselors, and one must hope that the counselor has been through what you're enduring.  If you feel comfortable, e-mail me, call me, whatever.  I know what it's like... I know.  I know what you're going through, and I will pray for God's strength to help me show you the truth about who you are and what you're worth.  Until you are open and honest with yourself about what's really going on behind your thinking, you can't fully heal.  You can only begin the healing process, but you can't finish it.  Be honest.  Be real.  Be raw.  Be redeemed.  

Girls, women, we are in this together.  We need reality to stop being distorted.  It starts now.  It starts with us.  Let's fight for what's ours - the revelation of true beauty.  

The Why Question

I was listening to a song on a Christian station, and the singer said something about how God gave him life even though he didn't deserve it. I said to my husband, "I remember feeling the opposite. I wonder how many people have felt like, 'If I had never existed, then this pain would not exist, and maybe that would have been better.'"
The very next song was "This is Your Life" by Switchfoot. I took that as an affirmation from the Lord about the subject of my writing today. Pain of any kind is real. Sometimes we can't help but wonder, "What if none of this had happened? What if I had never occurred?" Let's talk about that for a minute. You're worth the car sickness I am enduring to write this while God put it on my heart. He often doesn't care about our physical comfort as much as He cares about the position of our souls. ;)

I have had the absolutely stunning privilege to have open conversations with inspiring and beautiful women who have read this blog. The common thread through all of their experiences is pain. A few women told me their stories with tears in their eyes, reliving the anguish of a nightmare-come-true, of feeling insufficient, of sky-screaming, time-transcendent pain. I listened to them thinking of how glad I was that they are alive, a breathing soul inside a body, an influence of tremendous value in the world. I feel that way about all of you, and God is so infinitely greater, and I can only imagine His smile at you - His creation, His beauty manifested in your body and soul. Can you feel that? Try.

I remember times of kneeling by my bed, sitting in a car, writing in my diary, while asking God directly or indirectly why He even made me. Why did I have to exist? Why this trial? Why this pain? What is the purpose of all of this? Sometimes, in the midst of pain, we can't see past its casted shadows. All we know is that it hurts, and we don't know when it will just...please...STOP.

If this has happened to you, or if this is you currently, consider this your digital and spiritual hug from me. You aren't alone, and none of your circumstances are hopeless.  Whether you are hurting because you don't like what you see in the mirror, or because something happened that is out of your control, or you grew up without love and acceptance, or ANYthing ... You are here for a divine purpose. All of it will make sense in time. I'm not guaranteeing that any of it will make sense on this side of heaven, but someday when you ask why, the answer will unfold before you like butterfly wings, on which you will fly away into a breathing, living, sunset horizon.

There are always two ways to cope with pain: stuff it down like a quilt into a ziplock baggie, or face it head-on like a bird going against a freight train. Neither way is blissfully easy; in fact, both ways are more than we can handle on our own. So, there is a third way: lay it all at the feet of God in full-out, crazy-love surrender. Offer it up and admit: I CAN'T DO THIS ON MY OWN! Confess to Him that you are only human, and that He is God, and ask Him to heal your dripping wounds. Every time, in His way and in His perfect timing, He will pick you up and point you down the path toward healing. This doesn't mean it won't be painless; it will still hurt. But along the way glimmers of hope will dazzle like precious gems along the roadside. Your eyes will open and see in new ways. The Lord will even send friends with congruent pain to hold your hand as you walk.

I am not saying this from only my experiences, though of course those matter. I have known and met and listened to people tell stories of God's redeeming Love in their lives. He knows each of us intimately, whether we recognize it or not. He has an invitation that's been sitting in the mailbox of your heart since the moment you were conceived. Some of you have said yes and have experienced all of the hope I've been describing. Others have said yes, but have understandably struggled with full surrender (losing control is frightening!!! But so worth it, I promise!). Still some of you haven't RSVP'd to the invitation. If you say yes, and learn to worship Him while you're still in the depths of a valley, you will experience His fullness and will also get to experience why so many hit their knees on the mountaintops of life in awestruck, wonder-filled worship. You too will have your mountains blessed by God. You will stand with Him and "taste and see that the Lord is good."

Be bold and strong today. Say a prayer. Go outside and take a deep breath. You are a wondrous creation, and you will be delivered and victorious over all of your pain with God on your side. He promises.

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

A promise from Jesus from Matthew 17.

Bombs and Blood

Yesterday was a frightening first step to opening up an avenue for people to read and talk about real issues that concern body image and self-worth.  I have to be honest with you -- I kept everything very mild in order to protect readers and myself from the real pain associated with eating disorders and distorted body image.  I left out details and even my real "voice" in writing, so that I could communicate something painful in a tolerable way.  It's time to get down and dirty with you for a brief time today.
You or someone you know may be experiencing this, and I don't want you to think for one second that what you or they are going through is so simple.  This is for the ones who don't speak about it yet, cannot articulate their own pain, cannot see through the fog and scream, "Help!"

It starts small.  It's only a voice.  It tells you for the first time how unworthy you are of anything.  You know how some kids have an imaginary friend?  I had an imaginary enemy.  I'm not kidding.  I had an enemy unseen by everyone else, and she continually told me my faults, everything I was doing wrong in my day.  I don't even know why I listened to that pipsqueak - she could fit in the palm of my hand and looked sort of like Strawberry Shortcake, with short bristly hair and big vindictive eyes and a round little child face.  I could have squashed her!  I could have put her in the dog dish of my parents' malamute - wolf dog named Tecumseh and watch her get gobbled up in half a second, and then imagined up a nice girl who could be my bosom friend (an old term, but one I like.  Look it up to avoid confusion ;) ).  But I didn't do those things.  I lent my ear to her, and I let her direct me because by age four, I'd already begun to think that what I had to contribute to my own well-being was not good enough.

And so it starts.  Everyone has their own story, their own first feelings of self-doubt.  We've all experienced it.  While some people get diagnosed as "depressed" and get a prescription to help with those symptoms, others simply wallow in the wicked voices in their heads and starve themselves to try to attain total satisfaction.  The symptoms are the same, beloved, but the treatment looks different.  It all comes down to a soul condition.

What do you imagine a soul looks like while it's being attacked?  I am currently reading Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand, a true story about a man from World War II who survived some of the greatest trials one could ever fathom.  There is a scene from this book where a small island of American soldiers is being attacked by the Japanese.  It was an air strike, and everyone on that island was subject to the weapons of the enemy.  An excerpt:
Outside, it was hell on earth.  Men moaned and screamed, one calling for his mother.  A pilot thought the voices sounded like "animals crying." Men's eardrums burst.  A man died of a heart attack.  Another man's arm was severed.  Others sobbed, prayed, and lost control of their bowels ... As [Louie] had run through the coconut grove, he had moved only on instinct and roaring adrenaline, feeling no emotion.  Now, as explosions went off around him, fear seized him. (Hillenbrand 108)

The similarity between that and how I've felt in the past is uncanny.  Each individual "man" from this passage represents a piece of me, being attacked by a force I cannot control.  In dizzy confusion, I felt like I was running and ducking and diving to the ground constantly.  My hands were bloody, my face in desperation, my soul-legs sore from all the running away!  I was at risk of dying inside, and I didn't even know if I was worth saving.  But I would try to save myself, nonetheless.  My soul would crouch in shame, hiding even from myself.  The haze settled over me, and very few things had the power to clear that haze, even for a minute.  On the inside, I was crouching and waiting for the next attack, shaken and bloody and bruised and forlorn.  Since I could never see the enemy approaching my spirit, I was in constant fear.  I felt incredibly alone because no one wanted to understand, they either wanted to fix me or ignore me.  The source of my pain was usually of no interest to anyone.  I was simply vain, simply dramatic, simply...fixable.

Instead of bombs being dropped, there are words.  Words that kill or injure a part of who I am.  Sometimes these words come from other people - anything about my physical appearance, whether it was good or bad.  Other times they come from our unseen enemy, an attack on the mind and spirit.  Often, when dealing with body image, it's as simple as driving by a billboard, turning on the TV, a magazine cover, a store at the mall ... anytime I looked at an image displayed by the media and felt inadequate, there was a bomb falling.  Every time I lost a friend or gained an enemy because I wouldn't eat, it only fueled my desire to hide.  I had nicknames in high school - things like "Annie the Anorexic."  I would have people harass me at lunch and ask me where my salad was.  I would go into the bathroom and cry until the bell rang.  (Just so you know, I have long since forgiven these people as I've unraveled the complexities of eating disorders and realized from the outside-looking-in, there's almost no way to understand.)

In college, I did gain friends, but I kept many of them at a convenient distance.  By that time, I was a single mom with eating disorders.  I hated food, I loved food, I hated exercise, I loved exercise.  I worked three jobs, was a full-time student, and I was creating my own loneliness.  I thought no one could love me like that.  I didn't want anyone to find out how messed up I was.  I kept to myself more than a free, undamaged Cherie-spirit would have in her natural, God-given form.

For a time, a piece of me was covered in black, lonely darkness.  All of my shortcomings in life might take time, but my body was to be something I could control.  If I couldn't, then what good am I?  Soon it became the only thing I could control, and I did it well.  On many given days, I could give you my correct weight within a couple of ounces.  I knew my body that well.  But I had forsaken my soul.  And that's the most devastating part of it all.  I didn't even know that I had done that - but satan is crafty in his ways, and will give you all sorts of temporary satisfaction in order to distract you from the eternal part of yourself.

PLEASE LISTEN:  This is NOT about me.  There are many girls and women out there suffering this way and worse at the hands of the enemy.  They don't know they're beautiful.  If that's you, or if that is someone you know, THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!  So PAY ATTENTION!  Tell that girl (even if it's you), every single time you see her, that she is lovely, worthwhile, wonderful, interesting, and she is ETERNAL.  Don't mention her weight, the look of her body, AT ALL.  I had many people nag at me that I was "too skinny" and when I would gain a few healthy pounds, that I look "better" (to me, that meant fatter...so I'd start starving again).  Don't tell her anything about her body.  Spend time with her, love on her, remind her of WHO she is, NOT what she looks like.  No matter what you tell her, she won't see reality in the mirror until she is delivered from her sickness.  That part is not up to you - your job is to tell her how valuable she is, too skinny or not.  And maybe someone is dealing with these feelings, even if they're not "too skinny" - the way that you talk to them is the same.  The way you talk to yourself is the same.

What is true beauty anyway, if it's not from within?  It is temporal.  It. Will. Go. Away!  Proverbs 31:30 says this, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."  When you call upon the name of the Lord, you will begin to know yourself and your true beauty in ways you never thought possible.  And many people will notice your soul-transformation.  You will then realize your eternal worth; if the maker of the universe loves you and calls you beautiful, then my, my...what else is there?

Finally, ladies (and gentlemen), there is armor against this.  I urge you to look up Ephesians 6:10-18 in the New Testament, either in your Bible or search it online.  The Armor of God will equip you with everything you need during your personal trials, be they body image or not.  You have armor and weapons, and the help of the heavenly Father.  You aren't alone, and you aren't defenseless.  You even get a SWORD (my personal favorite, as I spent much of my life feeling weaponless against all of this) !!!

And remember, you don't have to thirst and long for anything.  Drink from those eternal waters.  After all, you are an eternal soul more than you are anything.

I am praying for all who read this post.  May your day and your life be filled with TRUTH about who you are because of Who created you.

Love and hugs,
Cherie

P.S.
Again, feel free to comment below or e-mail me with personal stories, suggestions, etc.  This is for US.
vinson.cherie@gmail.com