I Was Made in the Secret Place

"My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth." Psalm 139:15



"So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female He created them . . . Then God said, 'I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.'"
Genesis 1:27, 29


The intimate details of my life have never been uknown to God. He crafted me in "the secret place" with careful focus on detail, with skilled and steady hands, with love in His eyes. With a parent's love, he formed a being so much like Himself, but yet an individual. He put every small and great thing in place for my physical body to thrive. He put every small and great thing in place for my spiritual body to thrive.

The same is true for you.

In planning out the details of our earthly lives, the Lord saw what He made and said, "It is good." Before creating us, He created a way for us: crisp, clean springs; fruit-bearing trees; green vines popping with edible color; shallow roots; flavorful herbs; stalks of bounty.
And even though it's not about us, out of His great love, He created such pleasure and sustenance for our physical bodies. Because he created us so that we long for Him and the things of Him, both carnally and spiritually.

Ever wonder why you feel so much serenity when you're surrounded by trees on a hike? Or why you can be brought to tears by a sunrise? Or why being in or floating upon a great body of water gives you joy that can never reproduced by any manmade thing? This is because God's creation speaks of Him. And we are made to be close to Him.


Anorexia taught me to be far from God and to rely on my own strength and willpower to get what I thought I wanted. It taught me to manipulate my image, which I put above God's image in me. It taught me that the importance of calories > the importance of nutrients (God forbid I eat an avocado! Fat! Calories! Ah!). Let me tell you, anorexia was the worst teacher. I needed the Rabbi.

In a near-relapse, I went for a winter walk, knowing that anorexia was wrapping its fingers tightly around my throat again, but I was still fighting...I knew God wouldn't let me fall as long as I trusted in Him. The temptation to turn my back on His deliverance was strong, but I walked up a steep hill overlooking the Mississippi that night and felt Him tell me that He had a great plan. This time, my deliverance would be complete. I just needed to know that it was not all about me; this was about something greater than me.


"Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16

He saw me. He ordained my days. What will I do with each ordained day? What will I learn from Him in order to bring His light to others?

Friends, I have often rejected in my heart the notion that my journey with God would be so involved with food. Will my purpose be to help others with such a physical aspect? Will my life be absorbed with the physical?

But in such a time as this, when our "food" is poisoned and industries lie to us about what's healthy, maybe He is raising my voice. After all, I know full well that when my physical body is ill and damaged, my spiritual life suffers. And when we become too obsessed with the look of our bodies, we neglect our spiritual connection with the Father. And when we forget all that He has done for us since eternity past, we live only to satisfy our carnal nature.

So, anorexia was a distraction. Looking "perfect" was a distraction. Counting calories was a distraction.

But when we appreciate what God has made - His creation, His physical and spiritual food - we are closer to Him. Our minds are clear, and we are not so easily distraught.

He knows you. He has always known what you need to sustain your life.

You want to be healthy? Ask Him what to eat. Seek His knowledge, which surpasses every man's. Search His Word (and though Genesis mentions only plants for food, eventually sin brings meat-eating into our lives *wink from the vegetarian here* -- if you want a heavy read about all of that, read Leviticus 11! You'll be thanking Jesus for fulfilling the Law for you!).

Ask Him. He gives freely to all who ask for His wisdom.

Be well. Be blessed.